"A Recipe for Failure"

Found this today while doing some homework for school. Thought it was fun and true :)

"A Recipe for Failure"
1. Never get involved in anything. Say to yourself often, "Nothing Matters."
2. Keep you brain from getting tired - don't think about anything important too much.
3. Don't care about anyone or anything. Save all your concern for yourself and work on elevating selfishness to an art form.
4. Be a walking disaster. Leave trails of chaos in your wake where ever you go.
5. Have low expectations for yourself and always live down to them.
6. Waste as much time as possible. Spend your time hanging out, sleeping, playing games, complaining about how unfair life is, and making excuses.
7. Ignore other people and pretend you live alone on some remote island out in the Pacific Ocean. 8. Work on developing rude and obnoxious behaviors and appearances.
9. Never assess yourself, question your own values, or analyze your personal lifestyle.
10. Always keep your consciousness altered enough to keep you from fully grasping what is or is not happening to you.
11. Commit as much of your time, energy, and money as you can towards maintaining at least one major addiction to something everyone says is bad for you.

Copyright 1999, Ric Andrews